On Routines (Do You Have Any)

I am a consummate people watcher. Everywhere I go, my antennae is always up and I'm observing. It's hard to put a definitive finger on what attracts me to certain people and makes me take a second or even third look, but I love it.

In all these years of people watching, I've learned a few things. A lot of people have routines that they follow religiously, and are oblivious to this trait. My main targets to discuss here are my husband, a friend of mine, and my mother in law.

When regarding them while they're following these habits, I wonder how it would affect them to be suddenly placed where they couldn't. .

Let's start with my husband. Every morning, when his feet hit the floor, after visiting the john, he grabs the remote. If he can't find it, he starts to panic, because that is the first thing he has to do, turn on the t.v.

That accomplished, he heads for the kitchen cabinet. In a special corner of the cabinet is his sugar free candy stash. He is diabetic, and this candy is a treat, but every morning, after turning on the t.v he will search through this stash and select two, sometimes three pieces of candy.

He then fixes his coffee and his day is on. It is like clockwork, and I don't think he is aware of the monotony of it. In April, 2011, our area was hit by devastating tornadoes and our power was knocked out for four days. My husband suffered over the loss of his t.v. more than anything.

He still went to the cabinet for the candy, and we had a gas camp stove hooked up for coffee, but alas, no t.v. No search for the remote. He listened to the radio night and day, but moaned over the loss of t.v.

Every night, after his shower and dinner, he drinks two Sharps, nonalcoholic beers. Many years ago my husband was an alcoholic and he stopped drinking cold turkey, but he loves the taste of beer, hence the Sharps. I can vouch that this drink tastes just like beer. He puts two in the freezer when he gets home from work, and by the time he's ready to settle in and watch t.v. the drinks are ice cold.

He never drinks any more, or less, than two. He's put up with a lot of ribbing from family and friends about his obsession with the Sharps, and that it's always just two. He takes the kidding in stride and never changes.

My friend, and former co worker, Lily (not her real name), was very routine oriented too, and she unfailingly drove the same route to work, even though there are several alternatives. She doggedly stuck to this routine for many years, until one morning road work caused a detour. I can only imagine how panicked she felt being shaken out of her routine. The bad thing was, she was involved in an accident that morning. Thankfully, she wasn't hurt but her car was totalled and to this day, she believes taking that alternate route caused the wreck. In other words, out of her routine.

Last but not least, my mother in law. She was born in Tennessee but the family moved to Alabama when my husband was 12 due to his father's job. For the next 40 plus years she drove the 4.5 hours home the fourth weekend of every month.

There were other times she visited, IE, Christmas, Easter, etc., but unless those holidays fell on the last weekend of the month, she made the drive anyway. Year after year. After her mother passed she stopped, and rarely goes to visit her brother.

When our daughter, her only grandchild, was born she set up a rather bizarre visiting schedule. At the time she was working in a convenience store. In the summer she went to work at 1:00 pm and got off at 8: p.m.. In the winter she worked from 1 p.m. until 7 p.m.

Every Tuesday and Thursday she would come by and see the baby. In the summer it wasn't dark at 8 but I thought it strange she came on those days. In the winter it was dark but she persisted doing this until our daughter started kindergarten. At that time I started getting her prepared for bed by 8 p.m.

She changed to every Sunday, promptly at 4 p.m. No matter what the weather, she is there. There are times it makes me angry, and we really can't plan anything on Sunday afternoons, unless we can make it home by 4 which I find utterly ridiculous, but my husband doesn't see anything wrong with her doing this.

I know that these routines can be changed. My mother in law changed the Tuesday and Thursday schedule when her granddaughter started kindergarten and was preparing for bed by the time she got off work. But she adopted a new one, the Sunday evening at 4 p.m. visits.

There have been a few times she has varied, when her church had a Christmas program that started on Sunday afternoon, or other obligations came up, but these times are few and far between.

I search my own life looking for habits and haven't found anything definitive, but the people in this article don't seem to be aware of how steeped in these routines they are.

Perhaps these schedules give them a sense of security. I don't know. I do know that when jolted out of these routines they have set up for themselves, sometimes it can be upsetting.